Recently I was caught in an awkward situation. A friend of mine thought that Indiana Jones could beat Batman in a fight.
Let me bring a few relevant points to the table:
- Batman is angry and he wants revenge. In his fight for justice, he is essentially a man who you do not want to fuck with.
- Batman wears black and it's shiny too. This makes him go faster. FACT.
- Batman has a utility belt. It has utils on it which he utilises.
- Batman has a plethora of experiences to draw on, featuring some decent bad guys, such as Two-Face, The Joker, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, Penguin, Cat Woman, and The Scarecrow.
- Batman doesn't sleep, he watches.
- Robin can be called upon if the situation requires. They can either tag-team or double-team.
- Batman undertakes high-intensity physical and intellectual training; not to mention the fact that he is possibly the 'most dangerous man on earth'.
- He is a BABE.
Let's not forget, Indiana Jones has a few things going for him, including a sweet hat and leather jacket. He also has a sense of humor (I like a guy that can make me laugh), deep wisdom and knowledge of ancient civilisations and languages. In contrast, Batman is dark and overly mysterious.
STOP - HAMMERTIME
What is this? The effing Bachelor?
To be honest, I just think Indiana Jones is too much of a pussy. I mean, look at his soft complexion and kind eyes.
Indiana Jones may have a gun, but Batman had dodged bullets on more occasions than you can shake a stick at.
Scholars have analyzed Indiana Jones and have come to the conclusion that he is a 'hardboiled detective' and an 'American patriot'. Fuck America. Fuck egg analogies (BTW who even likes hardboiled?) I want someone who gets shit done. Also, it's common knowledge that if you wear khaki, you are a tool.
It's obvious who would win in a fight. At the end of the day, comparing Batman to Indiana Jones is (unlike comparing apples to oranges), but like comparing milk to the fourth dimension.
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| This, unfortunately, is not my mate, but the level of awkwardness is on-par. |
Let me bring a few relevant points to the table:
- Batman is angry and he wants revenge. In his fight for justice, he is essentially a man who you do not want to fuck with.
- Batman wears black and it's shiny too. This makes him go faster. FACT.
- Batman has a utility belt. It has utils on it which he utilises.
- Batman has a plethora of experiences to draw on, featuring some decent bad guys, such as Two-Face, The Joker, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, Penguin, Cat Woman, and The Scarecrow.
- Batman doesn't sleep, he watches.
- Robin can be called upon if the situation requires. They can either tag-team or double-team.
- Batman undertakes high-intensity physical and intellectual training; not to mention the fact that he is possibly the 'most dangerous man on earth'.
- He is a BABE.
 |
| This is the kind of intellectual training that the super heroes of the world require. |
Let's not forget, Indiana Jones has a few things going for him, including a sweet hat and leather jacket. He also has a sense of humor (I like a guy that can make me laugh), deep wisdom and knowledge of ancient civilisations and languages. In contrast, Batman is dark and overly mysterious.
STOP - HAMMERTIME
To be honest, I just think Indiana Jones is too much of a pussy. I mean, look at his soft complexion and kind eyes.
Indiana Jones may have a gun, but Batman had dodged bullets on more occasions than you can shake a stick at.
 |
| This elderly gentleman was spotted shaking his stick at Batman, who was busy dodging numerous bullets. |
Scholars have analyzed Indiana Jones and have come to the conclusion that he is a 'hardboiled detective' and an 'American patriot'. Fuck America. Fuck egg analogies (BTW who even likes hardboiled?) I want someone who gets shit done. Also, it's common knowledge that if you wear khaki, you are a tool.
It's obvious who would win in a fight. At the end of the day, comparing Batman to Indiana Jones is (unlike comparing apples to oranges), but like comparing milk to the fourth dimension.
THE END
With love,
Liz
