A feminist NEVER spills her drink.

Today I was thinking about feminism.
(cos I just read Caitlin Moran; like Germaine Greer with a sense of humour and also more of a babe).

More specifically, I was thinking about how awesome it would be if this happened.

I would buy this woman a drink.
(And then possibly try sleep with her.
But only if she let me cos she is obviously a self-empowered woman.
And also would kick me in the ovaries if I crossed that thin line between admiration and inappropriate touching.)


Also, on a vaguely unrelated note, this morning I went to the supermarket and bought bandaids and tampons.
Checkout guy: "Anything else?"
Me: "Hmmm, na. I think this should about cover it."

GOOD.

Peace out homos.
Ruby.

Nothing to be afreud of.

Kudos Jasper Fforde.

Today I was reading on the way to school, and tripped over and fell in a grave (I was walking through the cemetary).

Awkward.

My friend asked me (on our run yesterday. My first run in 2 months. I would probably have died except I'm not entirely sure what my parents would say if if their favourite daughter [you know it, puffin-face] had to have written on her death certificate "cause of death: alcohol and adipose tissue. Also chips". Possibly it would be something along the lines of... Can we get a refund? We have receipts covering the last hideously expensive 23 years.) if it is ok to get drunk in graveyards.
I said well, people in Mosgiel get drunk all the time.
Boom.
(But seriously. No joke. One time I was stuck there. FOR AN HOUR PEOPLE! I was nine months and three minutes away from obtaining a stroller, taking my shoes off, and opening that vivid lid.)

Have a lovely day you special people.
(Especially you, Liz).
Ciao
Ruby

The unholy trinity

Recently I have been very stressed.
So I made this cartoon.
It seems to have helped slightly more than Glee and slightly less than tennis.
Have a nice day.
Ruby.

I Like Marsupials and Naked Cartoon Characters

Marsupials are supersweet. They have pouches.
Here are some of my favourite marsupials:

- Koala

- Bandicoot (mostly coz of a little dude named Crash. I like it how he spins like a tornado and destroys shit. I don't think other marsupials can do this?)

Hey, Crash. Where's ya shirt?

I love how cartoon characters dance to the beat of their own drums re: appropriate attire. Look at Crash! He's half dressed, and it's ok. Sonic only wears gloves and shoes. Badass. Squidward Quincy Tentacles doesn't wear pants, and the mice from Cinderella get to be fully naked (despite being in charge of making Cinderella's dress. Ironic or humbling?)

I'm confused. When is it alright not to wear pants?

I have a theory on Mickey Mouse (no shirt) and Donald Duck's (no pants) decision:

Mickey has a huge cock so he has to wear trousers, whereas Donald's is probably oddly positioned, small, and masked by his duck fur. Also, he couldn't get his webbed feet through most pants anyway. He would probably have to get them tailor-made, and who even knows if their are tailors in Duckburg. The poor little guy was banned in Finland for not wearing pants.

Going for the casual 'tie-only' approach, like Yogi Bear, is a secret life goal of mine. I feel like the tie is what makes him smarter than the average bear.

The only thing that trumps being half-dressed or tie-only is being able to wear pajamas all the time. I would trade in everything to be either Alvin, Prof. Farnsworth, or one of the Bananas in Pajamas. Not only do B1 and B2 get to be in pajamas, they also get to run down stairs, and they live on Cuddles Avenue. Nice. I bet it's cuddly there.

Back to marsupials.
I also like:

- Pygmy possum (I think anything in a pygmy version is ridiculous. Especially pygmy people. Be short in style.)

'Yo! I'm DeShawn, and these are ma mates Tyrone,
DeAndre and Jamal. We're short because we have evolved
to adapt to the low UV light levels in the rainforest. WIN'

- Wallaroo (it would be better if it were a hybrid as a result of a wallaby rooting a kangaroo. But no.)

Imagine for a minute that you have a pouch. You get to give birth to a micro-baby, then just chuck it inside your pouch. When it's ready, it can just jump out and hop back in.  When there's no joey inside, you could store your things there.
Also, female marsupials have two lateral vaginas, and the males have a double-pronged penis.

That's all.

Much love,

Liz
xoxo