Hello.
First: You should probably click the little box that says 'Join this site'
Second: Look what ad came up when I was not looking at midget porn:
It looks like some kind of midget wrestling. I'm disturbed.
After a little sleuthing I learned that Halfpint Brawlers is the top midget wrestling company in the USA.
Go aMurica!
I just played a game with my laptop called 'Even though I have known for the last 10 minutes that you are about to run out of battery power I will still wait for you to say '0:00' and then move faster than a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat to see if I can get my charger before you die on me'. If I make it, I win. I get a point.
I often play games with myself. Here are some more!
- See if I can hold my breath until the end of class. I usually do this when I think class is nearly over. If I make it without passing out or breathing, I get a point.
- This is probably my favourite game. When I go for a run in the morning and it's still dark, to make myself run faster I think of scary things like clowns, rapists, and drop bears. I only just learnt what a drop bear was the other day. They excite me coz they JUST FUCKING DROP. WOW! I wish there were drop people. Or drop midgets. Who lived in trees. And they drop on unsuspecting people. If I don't get attacked by any of the aforementioned things then I get a point.
- If I wake up just before my alarm goes off, I get a point.
- If I get the front wheels of my car over the lines when I am exiting an intersection before the oncoming car gets their back wheels over the same lines then I get a point. This is really easy because my car is so speedy.
That was a lie. It's grey (grey cars are the slowest) station wagon which is older than me.
- If I spot someone who I don't usually see and I was JUST thinking about them then I get a point.
- If my iTunes is on shuffle when I'm not the only one listening and no embarrassing songs play then I get a point.
- If I find something on the internet which only has one result when I look for it on Google then I get a point.
If I get 10 points in one day, then I'm allowed to buy an icecream. I realise that icecream is supposed to be two words but I like it as one. Same deal with thankyou. And dropbears.
I got a point today:
1 result, bitches! And it was super fast.
More importantly...
No.
After some intense research I learnt it is actually not possible to die of boredom or live forever.
But...aquagenic urticaria. That really sucks.
There are only a handful of Pokémon which can talk.
Meowth used to be in a street gang in Hollywood. He was in search of fame and fortune; he wanted to get noticed so he taught himself how to walk and speak like a human. Meowth joined Team Rocket because 'rocket' was the first word he learnt.
What a shit story.
Squirtle is the best.
This is all I have today.
Bye
From Liz Tritops
First: You should probably click the little box that says 'Join this site'
Second: Look what ad came up when I was not looking at midget porn:
It looks like some kind of midget wrestling. I'm disturbed.
After a little sleuthing I learned that Halfpint Brawlers is the top midget wrestling company in the USA.
Go aMurica!
I just played a game with my laptop called 'Even though I have known for the last 10 minutes that you are about to run out of battery power I will still wait for you to say '0:00' and then move faster than a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat to see if I can get my charger before you die on me'. If I make it, I win. I get a point.
I often play games with myself. Here are some more!
- See if I can hold my breath until the end of class. I usually do this when I think class is nearly over. If I make it without passing out or breathing, I get a point.
- This is probably my favourite game. When I go for a run in the morning and it's still dark, to make myself run faster I think of scary things like clowns, rapists, and drop bears. I only just learnt what a drop bear was the other day. They excite me coz they JUST FUCKING DROP. WOW! I wish there were drop people. Or drop midgets. Who lived in trees. And they drop on unsuspecting people. If I don't get attacked by any of the aforementioned things then I get a point.
- If I wake up just before my alarm goes off, I get a point.
- If I get the front wheels of my car over the lines when I am exiting an intersection before the oncoming car gets their back wheels over the same lines then I get a point. This is really easy because my car is so speedy.
That was a lie. It's grey (grey cars are the slowest) station wagon which is older than me.
- If I spot someone who I don't usually see and I was JUST thinking about them then I get a point.
- If my iTunes is on shuffle when I'm not the only one listening and no embarrassing songs play then I get a point.
- If I find something on the internet which only has one result when I look for it on Google then I get a point.
If I get 10 points in one day, then I'm allowed to buy an icecream. I realise that icecream is supposed to be two words but I like it as one. Same deal with thankyou. And dropbears.
I got a point today:
1 result, bitches! And it was super fast.
More importantly...
No.
But...aquagenic urticaria. That really sucks.
Meowth used to be in a street gang in Hollywood. He was in search of fame and fortune; he wanted to get noticed so he taught himself how to walk and speak like a human. Meowth joined Team Rocket because 'rocket' was the first word he learnt.
What a shit story.
Squirtle is the best.
This is all I have today.
Bye
From Liz Tritops
Today I also got points.
ReplyDelete- one point for eating slices of cheese. Just cheese. I stood at the kitchen bench and ate slices of cheese, cut with a dutch cheese slicer, for eighteen minutes (I know this because it was 18 minutes to 9 when I first spotted cheese.) Then I had a nap for 3 hours, and dreamed about cheese.
- one point because I fell asleep in a shuttle in dunedin, and then in a plane over christchurch (no offense, christchurch), and then a sofa in wellington. I feel this multi-centred exhaustion effort requires some degree of acknowledgment.
- one point because I woke up at 5am. I have never done this before. It was the worst idea ever. 5am looks like Sam. I did not wake up Sam at 5am.
None of this makes any sense. But then, what is the meaning of life?
Yeah. Thought so.
Love,
semi-autonomous anonymous.
Points for cheese. I like that.
ReplyDeleteToday I also got points.
ReplyDelete- one point for being two stairs behind and two stairs in front of the other people on the escalator
- one point for eating a bag of chips in the library without being seen *crinkle crinkle crunch crunch FREEZE PAUSE crinkle crinkle*
That is all but it's only 10.49 so there's still a lot of time. I also wish there were drop midgets.