Brunch is in my ‘100 favourite things' list. While 100 may seem like many things, you must appreciate that this list is quite specific. It includes such things as Calvin Ball, Squirtle, and cheese, as opposed to more broad items, such as Calvin and Hobbes, Pokemon, and dairy products.
Brunch is great ‘coz it usually includes eggs, which are also ridiculously awesome, and brunch = laughter despite how hungover I am.
I often find myself eating late lunch, which leads to the question: Does dunch exist, and if so, what should one eat for dunch?
I shouldn’t have to remind you that dunch should be distinguished from linner, as dunch occurs closer to dinner.
Lunch -> Linner -> Dunch -> Dinner.
What should one have for dunch? I would recommend anything pastry associated. Empanadas are the new cupcakes. Pizza is also a fabulous idea. Normally, I’m not a big fan of pizza. But when you mix dunch and pizza, you get an orgasm. In general, I feel like you should have ANYTHING THAT GOES WITH HP SAUCE.
According to the disturbed child above, who has too many utensils for his own good, 'Everything goes with HP sauce'. Since you can have anything that goes with HP sauce for dunch, and everything goes with HP sauce, we can deduce that you can have anything for dunch. Maybe you could eat this unfortunate child with the crazy eyes, or you could just leave him there to poke his eyes out with his extra fork.
What the fuck is HP sauce, and why is it called HP sauce?
It's brown sauce. That sounds gross, but it tastes delish.
Ruby suggested it might mean ‘Hardly Potent’. I reckoned that was bullshit. I though it might be ‘Hardcore Porn’.
But then when I got serious, all I could think of was ‘Hewlett Packard’. Dumb. Why would you eat sauce with your printer? I know. With more consideration, I thought of ‘Harry Potter’ ,‘Hyper Police’, ‘Hire Purchase’, and ‘House Party’.
I think Harry Potter Sauce would taste fucking magical.
With further research, I learnt that HP means ‘House of Parliament’. How lame is that?!
Oh... and this is Hyper Police (I know you're dying to see it):
Till you make your mind I won’t let you go
Good boy
I’m gonna make you feel the pull of my charms
Take a chance
What gives spice to romance
Is the endless thrill of playing the game
HYPERTENSION!!!
With love,
Liz
Love that they live in Pomegranate. See what I did there?
ReplyDeleteI love that you're so AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteHardcore porn sauce was my disturbing fave. Let's start eating dunches on a regular basis.
Scrambled eggs in tortillas with hypertension sauce.
- Ruby
(not liz complimenting herself. That would be weird. And more like me. Also! OMFG LIZ I totally asked a babe on a date today (this is if you have an extremely broad definition of "date") and she said yes and ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!!! Oh wait, I told you about this yesterday. Fuck it, it's the morning. See you at soccer babez:))
By 'soccer' i guess you mean 'football', and i kinda wish i could post hardcore porn on here just for the hilarity. unfortunately it had to be softer porn. damn.
ReplyDeleteNo I mean soccer as a handy shortening of Association Football, to make a clear point of difference from Rugby Football, which I also play.
ReplyDeleteHP sauce is fuckin delicious.
ReplyDeleteThank you for solving the mystery (ha) of the missing wheelchair - it will be the plot of my first full-length Fruit Noir starring my detective/superhero citrus protagonist, Dangerine.
Might be a bit drunk.
DANGERINE! She'd have to wear orange. (ha).
ReplyDeleteI, also, am drunk and typing on a computer. On a saturday night. G&T's and chocolate in bed. Like an old cat woman, possibly. Oh god this must never happen again.*
Also, G&T's? Apostrophe? Do I even need to capitalise the g and t?
Worcester sauce is better.
Also, I am fairly sure nobody knows the difference between an acre and a hectare. Discuss.
*Have cold; no foul. No cats! Postscripts are awesome.