How to:

This week I have cooked.
A lot.
I have made; hollandaise sauce (difficult, cramp in arm), meringue, various sorts of bread, apple strudel (awesome, pastry as thin as an anemic tissue and large enough to cover a small pony) biscuits, cake (extra bananana flavour), and assorted salads with bits of things from the garden, some of which were probably bits of grass cunningly disguised as herbies.

In addition, I got a degree. woo.

I weaseled my way into summer school, hooray! And figured out I only have to do 10 papers to turn my Minor into a whole degree! Wow! I could have TWO degrees! I have this feeling that this getting degrees thing may turn out to be a bit addictive.

How to: get a degree.
Pick a university. Optimum requirements include degree of scumminess of flats. Increased Decreptitude translates linearly into decreased cost.
Attend university. Often.
Pass things. HINT: some things are easier to pass than others. For example; Marketing. Marketing is the study of how to most cheaply manipulate vaguely distracted people to buy shit that they don't want. It is, apparently, a sure-fire way to get yourself a job. In an office. With 3 suits, 7 shirts, one pair of trackpants, a hobby (crochet, writing letters to the editor, road cycling, drugs) and, eventually, 2.5 children and/or pets.
In contrast, physics is very difficult. But there is the chance of adding to the sum of human knowledge, discovering new things, having a star named after you, and getting an awesome, inscrutable prize in arcane awesomeness.

Sidetracked now.

I haven't seen any funny things recently. I took my littlest brother for a run though, it was SO supercute he is so white and lanky and surprisingly fast for a wee thingy who spends, on average, 19 1/2 hours a day attached to a screen. Running is cool.


Ruby.

Foam, Political Opinion, Currency, and that is all...

You claim that you like old people, Ruby, but if had a real job where you had to CONSISTENTLY  serve coffee and muffins for them, I don't think you would be so kind. Speaking of coffee, Ruby recently made herself a  latte made of soy milk. She may claim to like soy milk, but she doesn't, she just pretends to soften the blow of being a lactard. To clear the air, lattes CAN indeed have less foam than flat whites. People assume that just coz' its 'flat' it must be the 'flattest'.

Flat:

Flattest:

Once again, I will prove someone wrong using Wikipedia. 

To more important matters, upon the mention that I was interested in purchasing shares, Ruby said 'ewww'. I asked her why, and she said "Its just so...Conservative?" For one, she didn't punctuate properly. For two, Ruby knows I am a firm capitalist. However, that does not make me conservative. Unfortunately, there is a common stereotype for capitalists to be conservative, and socialists to be liberal. With me, you get the best of both worlds. A liberal capitalist. Yay for individual rights, and people being allowed to choose what they do with their hard earned cash. Ruby is also liberal. Here is Ruby and I. 

Ruby:        

                                                                                      

Lizzles:

Speaking of shares, I also told Ruby that I may invest in foreign currency. That is a rather droll topic, so I decided I would merely pose the question: Who would you do?

I say top right for sure. Apparently that's Ulysses S. Grant. Fuck yea for defeating the Confederate Army. Big ups to you. 

Over to you, Rubilicious. 

Liz.

i don't think you're not moral; i just think you should stop lying.

Morality. A slippery kettle of fish.

When would you pay to pass 6 hours wearing pink lycra surrounded by sweaty middle-aged men?

I biked around Taupo. It took way too long. I had to sit on an ice pack for days afterwards. But I fundraised $30 for breast cancer research, so I win.

Cycling is really hard. You have to wear tight, plastic clothes, a stupid hat, padded bum, are constantly at risk of being taken out by anything from doors to pebbles, and you have to do it for twice as long and three times as far as a runner. What's the point?

I will let you know tomorrow. But it's definitely not the aesthetics.

Also, old guys in malls is cute. I LOVE old people. I had an old woman come into work the other day. I asked her how her bagel was. She said she was deaf and couldn't hear a thing I was saying. I wrote it down. She said she had coeliac disorder and couldn't eat it.

Then, as now, there was not much to say.



Ruby.

Malls

So far, my time in Christchurch this summer has involved many malls. Christchurch loves malls, because it is flat and lacks culture, thus making chain stores a popular choice for the unsophisticated citizen and the adorable tweens. I hate malls, mostly coz I hate people. I hate mall car parks the most; you have to drive slowly to avoid running people down (even though you get an extra 10 points if you hit a child or the guy in the wheel chair). Today, I loved going to the mall, coz this is what I saw:

Why is he allowed to drive? Why is he allowed to go to the mall?

Ruby: Your thoughts, please. 

Liz.

summer apart

After spending the last nine months in constant contact with the leezbot, I now have to spend THREE MONTHS APART. Apart from on friday when I'm making her entertain me at the airport for 45 minutes. And january when I'm going to visit and play with penguins. And probably postcards cos they are awesome. And facebook, texts, and phone calls.
Oxford comma. Bite me bitch!


But we decided we're quite hilarious. So i suggest a photoblog challenge competition!


Rules?
I pose;
- legal
- affordable (and no I'm not actually on the dole. I thought you'd get too angry)
- hilarious


BOYAH!
Ruby